Small update

I spent all day yesterday researching, asking people online, asking people here on my blog, asking personal friends, etc. to help make a decision. (Thanks so much to all of you who responded! I read everything multiple times! lol) Bryan was gone all day so I had to wait to talk to him until after all this had transpired.

I was definitely impacted by the fact that pretty much everyone everywhere said they didn't understand why the doctor would push for a c section on Tuesday when baby is probably head down now and there is no reason to believe I won't go into labor. Even though most people said they would just go for the induction period, it was the most common thought that even if I personally wanted a c section over that, I should just move the c section later to see if I go into labor naturally. This was something we never really discussed at my appointment but after much thought, I decided to call and see if it was a possibility.

I talked to my doctor's assistant and explained I was interested to know if I could delay the c section until the days after my due date, that I wanted more time to go into labor, etc. I told her I was still considering the induction instead but wanted to know if this delay was even an option in my considerations. She went and talked to the doctor and called me back...to let me know they had just moved it a week later to September 14 (40 weeks and 2 days)! I was a little stunned because I said I just wanted to know for decision making purposes, but I knew pretty much at that point that I didn't want to force it on this Tuesday so I thanked her and hung up. Of course I didn't mention it at that point, but I knew if I slept on it and wanted to cancel altogether today I could just call back.

Bryan and I talked about things last night and we agreed that moving the c section was the best thing for now. We also discussed the fact that though most people might prefer an induction, it would in all likelihood be a very bad experience for me personally. Even if I could physically do it and end up with a successful one, I would be going into it with so much fear and tension about being forced into labor (and the resulting c section that would be worse than a planned c section) that it would hurt my chances anyway. (I read a whole study on this yesterday that showed that women going into labor, especially induced labor, with a lot of fear and anxiety have an even higher failure rate - up to 75%+.) We both know me very well and know that it would just not be the right thing given my anxiety. Sure, regular labor can fail too, but I wouldn't be going into it thinking that, unlike with the induction. I know this morning that if I canceled the c section altogether yesterday and was waiting for a likely induction, I would be absolutely miserable for the next two weeks with fear (more fear than the planned c section - the way I see it, either is a c section given my likelihood of induction failure as stated by my doctor, but EVERYONE says the recovery from an unplanned c section is way worse so I would be putting myself in the worst possible situation).

Probably the best thing that came out of my conversation with Bryan last night was that I do have a regular 39 week appointment on Wednesday of next week. If I do have progress by then they can't FORCE me into a c section the following Tuesday. I would tell them that I wanted to cancel and wait for labor/or induction. I wouldn't worry about the induction if my cervix were making progress - those inductions are very favorable. The whole reason for concern is that I have had no progress to date, and I have to assume that may remain the case up until induction. SO, I really bought myself a week to see if labor happens OR any new signs of labor happen, in which case I may still cancel the c section. But I do believe that if by next Wednesday nothing has happened to my cervix, I will take the c section on September 14 rather than face an induction with a highly unfavorable outlook.