The Countdown Begins

I'm 34 weeks today! Theoretically that means I have just 6 weeks left (maybe less??). Wow. I can't even believe that. I still have to pack the hospital bag and find the bassinet part to our pack n play (so Alexa can sleep in our room for a couple of weeks) but other than that we are READY. And I mean I am READY...I am officially ready to be done being pregnant!

For a while I felt guilty for wanting to not be pregnant anymore because I didn't feel I had really "embraced" this unique time. But I feel now that I've fully experienced it. This is really random, but one thing I felt bad about the whole pregnancy was that I didn't commit to weekly or even monthly belly shots! I've taken a few pictures throughout the pregnancy so I did have some, but I really regretted that I could never go back and capture something that in all likelihood will never happen again. I'm ridiculously sentimental so it was something that really bothered me. Well, we decided last minute to do "professional" maternity pictures at JC Penney yesterday and I now feel 100% better. :) They came out so great, I am thrilled with them! I feel like I now have some cute pictures while "fully" pregnant so the absence of the earlier ones is OK. Now I have no more pregnancy regrets, and the discomforts of the third trimester have led me to feel 100% OK with this now being over!

I think Alexa went head down for just a couple of days because I felt hiccups very low. But as of yesterday I definitely felt the hiccups back high again...so it looks like we are back to transverse. The doctor said that around 34/35 weeks is when they start to worry if the baby isn't persistently head down, so this is not a good sign. Despite the fact that I initially really wanted a c-section, I don't feel that way now. It wouldn't be the end of the world but I really want to try the old fashioned way (well, in terms of exit method, not in terms of no medication! GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL ASAP!!). Last night I dreamed they were coming to take me for a c section and I was begging to wait for her to go head down. lol

My hormones have been in full swing. When we went for the maternity tour I totally freaked out. I HATE hospitals. I associate it with seeing my dear grandmother the last time. Some mixture of that emotion plus the realization that I was going to have to go through child birth there made me burst into tears within 5 minutes of the tour starting. Fortunately we were in the back of the group so I my outpouring didn't gather too much notice. Sigh.

Despite 8 months of preparation so far, I really can't even picture having a baby in the house. It doesn't sound real - I feel like that stage was already so long ago and we have made so much "progress" since then! And I really can't imagine that there is a baby inside me who is already so big that if she were born today she would likely be fine. I feel big, but not THAT big!

All in all, it will be such a relief for pregnancy to be over. I CAN NOT WAIT to get on with life, not having to obsess about birth, not having trouble breathing, not having trouble sleeping every night, not being so tired, not being able to eat/drink whatever I want, and getting to get my body back to where it was! I know it's only for a little more, but six weeks does sound like an eternity at this point. :)