I spent all day yesterday researching, asking people online, asking people here on my blog, asking personal friends, etc. to help make a decision. (Thanks so much to all of you who responded! I read everything multiple times! lol) Bryan was gone all day so I had to wait to talk to him until after all this had transpired.
I was definitely impacted by the fact that pretty much everyone everywhere said they didn't understand why the doctor would push for a c section on Tuesday when baby is probably head down now and there is no reason to believe I won't go into labor. Even though most people said they would just go for the induction period, it was the most common thought that even if I personally wanted a c section over that, I should just move the c section later to see if I go into labor naturally. This was something we never really discussed at my appointment but after much thought, I decided to call and see if it was a possibility.
I talked to my doctor's assistant and explained I was interested to know if I could delay the c section until the days after my due date, that I wanted more time to go into labor, etc. I told her I was still considering the induction instead but wanted to know if this delay was even an option in my considerations. She went and talked to the doctor and called me back...to let me know they had just moved it a week later to September 14 (40 weeks and 2 days)! I was a little stunned because I said I just wanted to know for decision making purposes, but I knew pretty much at that point that I didn't want to force it on this Tuesday so I thanked her and hung up. Of course I didn't mention it at that point, but I knew if I slept on it and wanted to cancel altogether today I could just call back.
Bryan and I talked about things last night and we agreed that moving the c section was the best thing for now. We also discussed the fact that though most people might prefer an induction, it would in all likelihood be a very bad experience for me personally. Even if I could physically do it and end up with a successful one, I would be going into it with so much fear and tension about being forced into labor (and the resulting c section that would be worse than a planned c section) that it would hurt my chances anyway. (I read a whole study on this yesterday that showed that women going into labor, especially induced labor, with a lot of fear and anxiety have an even higher failure rate - up to 75%+.) We both know me very well and know that it would just not be the right thing given my anxiety. Sure, regular labor can fail too, but I wouldn't be going into it thinking that, unlike with the induction. I know this morning that if I canceled the c section altogether yesterday and was waiting for a likely induction, I would be absolutely miserable for the next two weeks with fear (more fear than the planned c section - the way I see it, either is a c section given my likelihood of induction failure as stated by my doctor, but EVERYONE says the recovery from an unplanned c section is way worse so I would be putting myself in the worst possible situation).
Probably the best thing that came out of my conversation with Bryan last night was that I do have a regular 39 week appointment on Wednesday of next week. If I do have progress by then they can't FORCE me into a c section the following Tuesday. I would tell them that I wanted to cancel and wait for labor/or induction. I wouldn't worry about the induction if my cervix were making progress - those inductions are very favorable. The whole reason for concern is that I have had no progress to date, and I have to assume that may remain the case up until induction. SO, I really bought myself a week to see if labor happens OR any new signs of labor happen, in which case I may still cancel the c section. But I do believe that if by next Wednesday nothing has happened to my cervix, I will take the c section on September 14 rather than face an induction with a highly unfavorable outlook.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
The latest in the saga
Things couldn't be more unclear after the appointment today.
Ultrasound showed...baby head down. Again.
No effacement. No dilation.
Based on what I've told the doctor about feeling the baby being transverse a lot of the time, she thinks the reason for no effacement/dilation is that she is slipping back and forth between head down and transverse. For other people at this point she said she would think that the lack of progress was due to something else more temporary and that she wouldn't question going into labor, etc. In my case, based on what I've been feeling, she said that I may well not make progress at all because the baby is so inconsistent. That's why she said that if I did an induction, I would have a high likelihood of failure (ending in c section anyway). So she gave me to options.
1. Keep the c section on Tuesday.
2. Cancel and schedule an induction in my 40th week (probably September 15 or 16).
She really couldn't recommend either way. She said it is really up to me and how important it is to try for a vaginal birth. She said that I should consider what is my worst case scenario - if a c section is the worst, wait for induction. If a failed induction is worst, go for the c section.
I HAVE NO IDEA! I basically left it with her that if she didn't hear otherwise, I will be there for the c section next Tuesday. If I decide on the induction, I have to call tomorrow to schedule it and cancel the c section.
I truly have no idea what to do. I'm less freaked out than just annoyed at this point. Here are some considerations:
1. I asked her if my endometriosis could cause complications with the c section. She said it could if I have adhesions she has to cut through but she has no idea until she gets in there. It could mean the risk of damage to an organ or something is higher. But she said she wouldn't consider this a major consideration and she would think about the other preferences first.
2. What if all this time I've been thinking the baby is transverse and I've been WRONG?! If the baby truly went head down a couple of weeks ago and has been head down since then, it would be considered "normal" and I don't think she would be so worried about a failed induction. So all this concern is based on what I THINK is going on in there? I have NO confidence I know at this point! What if I'm on the road to a normal labor and have a c section instead based on my own misinformation?
3. It's very tempting to just do the c section next week because I want to be done being pregnant more than anything in the world. But I also want to make the best choice.
4. My worst case scenario is a failed induction. My best case scenario is just going into labor. But in order to schedule a c section in advance you can't just wait until after your due date, decide the baby isn't coming on its own and call for a c section the next day. If you could, that's what I would do. It's basically next Tuesday OR induction. (Assuming I don't go into labor first.)
5. I have no idea the likelihood of going into labor on my own between now and the induction. But if I choose the induction date and have to actually be induced I would be really really freaked out about it. It's not like you can just change your mind that morning and say, "nope, want a c section!"
If anyone has an opinion, please comment. Because I seriously don't know what to do. Your guess is as good as mine.
For what it's worth, I did get to see a lot of Alexa on the ultrasound. She had a cute little face and was sucking when I saw her. I got measurements on her for the first time and she is measuring about two weeks behind. They weren't concerned at all, she's just a smaller baby. She might be built very differently than Nathan and Kenna, who are both tall! Her estimated weight is 6 pounds 3 ounces.
Ultrasound showed...baby head down. Again.
No effacement. No dilation.
Based on what I've told the doctor about feeling the baby being transverse a lot of the time, she thinks the reason for no effacement/dilation is that she is slipping back and forth between head down and transverse. For other people at this point she said she would think that the lack of progress was due to something else more temporary and that she wouldn't question going into labor, etc. In my case, based on what I've been feeling, she said that I may well not make progress at all because the baby is so inconsistent. That's why she said that if I did an induction, I would have a high likelihood of failure (ending in c section anyway). So she gave me to options.
1. Keep the c section on Tuesday.
2. Cancel and schedule an induction in my 40th week (probably September 15 or 16).
She really couldn't recommend either way. She said it is really up to me and how important it is to try for a vaginal birth. She said that I should consider what is my worst case scenario - if a c section is the worst, wait for induction. If a failed induction is worst, go for the c section.
I HAVE NO IDEA! I basically left it with her that if she didn't hear otherwise, I will be there for the c section next Tuesday. If I decide on the induction, I have to call tomorrow to schedule it and cancel the c section.
I truly have no idea what to do. I'm less freaked out than just annoyed at this point. Here are some considerations:
1. I asked her if my endometriosis could cause complications with the c section. She said it could if I have adhesions she has to cut through but she has no idea until she gets in there. It could mean the risk of damage to an organ or something is higher. But she said she wouldn't consider this a major consideration and she would think about the other preferences first.
2. What if all this time I've been thinking the baby is transverse and I've been WRONG?! If the baby truly went head down a couple of weeks ago and has been head down since then, it would be considered "normal" and I don't think she would be so worried about a failed induction. So all this concern is based on what I THINK is going on in there? I have NO confidence I know at this point! What if I'm on the road to a normal labor and have a c section instead based on my own misinformation?
3. It's very tempting to just do the c section next week because I want to be done being pregnant more than anything in the world. But I also want to make the best choice.
4. My worst case scenario is a failed induction. My best case scenario is just going into labor. But in order to schedule a c section in advance you can't just wait until after your due date, decide the baby isn't coming on its own and call for a c section the next day. If you could, that's what I would do. It's basically next Tuesday OR induction. (Assuming I don't go into labor first.)
5. I have no idea the likelihood of going into labor on my own between now and the induction. But if I choose the induction date and have to actually be induced I would be really really freaked out about it. It's not like you can just change your mind that morning and say, "nope, want a c section!"
If anyone has an opinion, please comment. Because I seriously don't know what to do. Your guess is as good as mine.
For what it's worth, I did get to see a lot of Alexa on the ultrasound. She had a cute little face and was sucking when I saw her. I got measurements on her for the first time and she is measuring about two weeks behind. They weren't concerned at all, she's just a smaller baby. She might be built very differently than Nathan and Kenna, who are both tall! Her estimated weight is 6 pounds 3 ounces.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
9 days until c-section...
Well, tomorrow morning is the last ultrasound to check for position. I'm not even sure why we are doing it at this point...even if she is head down at the time of the ultrasound, the doctor said we would "talk about an induction while we can catch her in that position" but it would have a 60% chance of failure due to no cervical progress to date. Well, if that is still what she tells me, I will request the scheduled c-section. So head up = c section, head down = c section. I already know she is still flipping around all day long, so the ultrasound to me is doing nothing but looking at position at that particular moment.
That said, I've been reading a lot online about dilation, etc., and it seems to me that it's not unusual at all to have no dilation/effacement/etc. with your first baby before labor. I had concluded from my doctor that this meant an induction was 1) necessary and 2) likely to fail. So there is a small doubt in the back of my mind about what she is giving me as choices. Honestly at this point I don't really want choices because it's too stressful. I've been wrapping my head around the c section once again and it will almost be a relief tomorrow if the ultrasound makes it clear she is still not in the right position because then there will not be any discussion about ambiguities with next steps. As far as I'm concerned, I'm just counting down 9 days until c section.
I've been praying, praying, praying for peace about the whole thing because I've been so stressed about the surgery. I've been feeling some better the last couple of days so I hope that continues and I can confidently arrive at 7:30 am Sept 7 without bawling hysterically, which is my natural tendency. :)
In the meantime, I seriously can't figure out how I can be pregnant another week. lol I can hardly walk at this point, have aches and pains all over, have to rest half way up our stairs, wake up every two hours all night, and of course I continue to throw up every morning. I know, woe is me. :) But really, I'm trying to look forward to the c-section so that I know I will be on the path back to normalcy very soon. I'm disappointed that the recovery will be so long, but I'm using Halloween as my mental benchmark. By Halloween it will be a couple of days off from 8 weeks and by all indications that should be a full recovery if there are no complications. I LOVE the month of October so I'm hoping that during that time period I will just be happy with fall, college football and planning costumes for Halloween! I'm already reading about good post c-section exercise plans and am feeling very motivated to get into better shape than ever. I have to say that I'm not someone who has embraced the giant pregnant belly, so I'm thrilled to get back to my normal size. I HATE exercise normally but I'm hoping that getting back to normal as fast as possible will be a better motivator than I've ever had. :)
More news tomorrow...
That said, I've been reading a lot online about dilation, etc., and it seems to me that it's not unusual at all to have no dilation/effacement/etc. with your first baby before labor. I had concluded from my doctor that this meant an induction was 1) necessary and 2) likely to fail. So there is a small doubt in the back of my mind about what she is giving me as choices. Honestly at this point I don't really want choices because it's too stressful. I've been wrapping my head around the c section once again and it will almost be a relief tomorrow if the ultrasound makes it clear she is still not in the right position because then there will not be any discussion about ambiguities with next steps. As far as I'm concerned, I'm just counting down 9 days until c section.
I've been praying, praying, praying for peace about the whole thing because I've been so stressed about the surgery. I've been feeling some better the last couple of days so I hope that continues and I can confidently arrive at 7:30 am Sept 7 without bawling hysterically, which is my natural tendency. :)
In the meantime, I seriously can't figure out how I can be pregnant another week. lol I can hardly walk at this point, have aches and pains all over, have to rest half way up our stairs, wake up every two hours all night, and of course I continue to throw up every morning. I know, woe is me. :) But really, I'm trying to look forward to the c-section so that I know I will be on the path back to normalcy very soon. I'm disappointed that the recovery will be so long, but I'm using Halloween as my mental benchmark. By Halloween it will be a couple of days off from 8 weeks and by all indications that should be a full recovery if there are no complications. I LOVE the month of October so I'm hoping that during that time period I will just be happy with fall, college football and planning costumes for Halloween! I'm already reading about good post c-section exercise plans and am feeling very motivated to get into better shape than ever. I have to say that I'm not someone who has embraced the giant pregnant belly, so I'm thrilled to get back to my normal size. I HATE exercise normally but I'm hoping that getting back to normal as fast as possible will be a better motivator than I've ever had. :)
More news tomorrow...
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Another turn of events
I went to the doctor for my 37 week appointment yesterday. She did my first cervical check. She couldn't feel the head, and there was no cervical "progress" (dilation/effacement). She wasn't certain but she thought the baby was transverse or breech again. I had a sneaking suspicion as of that morning. So the c section schedule remains on Sept 7. I have another ultrasound on Monday. If the baby is not head down, the c section goes forward the following week. Otherwise, we will have to talk about whether or not to induce while head down to try to catch her while in a good position. Even so, because she hasn't been head down enough to put pressure on my cervix and cause "progress" the doctor thought I would still have a 60% chance of normal labor failing and needing a csection.
So, yeah. I spent ALL day yesterday crying. No, really. ALL day.
So, yeah. I spent ALL day yesterday crying. No, really. ALL day.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Full term today!
Today I'm exactly 37 weeks pregnant. It's very hard to believe! I'm so glad we are nearing the end though. It's been an incredible journey that we are even at this point, but I'm looking forward to getting to the new phase of a family of five and feeling back to my old self.
Last week things took an interesting turn. I had my regular doctor's appointment (which was actually with the nurse practitioner this time). When she asked about kick counts (how much I'm feeling the baby move) I admitted it has slowed down and that really, I've never felt all that much movement. That seemed to concern her, and coupled with my fears about there being a reason for the baby being breeched, I finally agreed to have her send me to the hospital for some monitoring.
They started with an ultrasound. I informed the nurse that she was breech before we started. She looked at the screen and said, "She's not breech! She is head down now!" Literally that morning at the doctor's office I could feel her transverse - head on one side and butt on the other. In the intervening 3 hours she had gone head down - I was floored. The nurse said she didn't think she would turn again at this point and since then I'm pretty sure she has stayed down. I'm absolutely floored by this as I was all geared up for a c section, but to be honest have been elated that I can try for the vaginal birth now. Not because I want that experience, just because I know recovery will likely be so much easier. Everything looked great - I had more than enough amniotic fluid, baby moved all the time, had the right heart rate, etc. I hardly felt anything while she was moving on the monitor, so that answered my questions; the nurse said I'm one of the rare people who never feel that much - probably because I have a lot of amniotic fluid and an anterior placenta combined.
I was also having contractions every 10 minutes with a lot of intermediate "irritability" (small contractions). She said that would cause me to not feel as much movement too, because I have so many small contractions all the time.
On Friday I had a TON of contractions - almost constant. I thought maybe that was going to be it. But they eventually subsided and I've not had too many since. I must admit that it's a bit more exciting now wondering when labor will happen rather than waiting for the c section. Before I was SCARED of labor starting before the scheduled c section but now I can look forward to it. Interestingly I don't feel the fear I did at one time about going into labor. I think I can handle it much better than the c section at this point. My how my perspective has changed! lol
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I'll post an update after that.
Last week things took an interesting turn. I had my regular doctor's appointment (which was actually with the nurse practitioner this time). When she asked about kick counts (how much I'm feeling the baby move) I admitted it has slowed down and that really, I've never felt all that much movement. That seemed to concern her, and coupled with my fears about there being a reason for the baby being breeched, I finally agreed to have her send me to the hospital for some monitoring.
They started with an ultrasound. I informed the nurse that she was breech before we started. She looked at the screen and said, "She's not breech! She is head down now!" Literally that morning at the doctor's office I could feel her transverse - head on one side and butt on the other. In the intervening 3 hours she had gone head down - I was floored. The nurse said she didn't think she would turn again at this point and since then I'm pretty sure she has stayed down. I'm absolutely floored by this as I was all geared up for a c section, but to be honest have been elated that I can try for the vaginal birth now. Not because I want that experience, just because I know recovery will likely be so much easier. Everything looked great - I had more than enough amniotic fluid, baby moved all the time, had the right heart rate, etc. I hardly felt anything while she was moving on the monitor, so that answered my questions; the nurse said I'm one of the rare people who never feel that much - probably because I have a lot of amniotic fluid and an anterior placenta combined.
I was also having contractions every 10 minutes with a lot of intermediate "irritability" (small contractions). She said that would cause me to not feel as much movement too, because I have so many small contractions all the time.
On Friday I had a TON of contractions - almost constant. I thought maybe that was going to be it. But they eventually subsided and I've not had too many since. I must admit that it's a bit more exciting now wondering when labor will happen rather than waiting for the c section. Before I was SCARED of labor starting before the scheduled c section but now I can look forward to it. Interestingly I don't feel the fear I did at one time about going into labor. I think I can handle it much better than the c section at this point. My how my perspective has changed! lol
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I'll post an update after that.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Something random that makes me laugh
This happens every time...
Me: "Kenna, what is your name?"
Kenna: "Kenna!"
Me: "Nathan, what is your name?"
Nathan: "Name!"
:)
Me: "Kenna, what is your name?"
Kenna: "Kenna!"
Me: "Nathan, what is your name?"
Nathan: "Name!"
:)
Sunday, August 8, 2010
20 Months!
Nathan and Kenna are 20 months old now! As I type this they are on their way back from an overnight (and all day) with Grammy and Papa. We are so grateful that they have grandparents who love them so much and are close enough and willing to have them for these extended periods...some baby free time is such a nice break. No matter how much you love your kids, time away is soooo freeing. :) I woke up this morning and was like, "Seriously? There aren't two little people who are depending on me to get up right now?"
Here are some updates:
NATHAN
There is absolutely nothing that Nathan loves more than running and being chased. He's such a little boy that way! He is always trying to get someone to chase after him, which makes it a little tricky sometimes when you are genuinely telling him to "come here" and he laughs and runs away - not to be spiteful in those cases, just to try to entice you to play with him! Sometimes he actually runs directly into me and throws himself against me laughing. :) I love his little laugh so much! The only problem is that my big tummy right now makes it a little less pleasant!
Nathan's other favorite thing to do at the moment is open and close doors. He MUST open and close doors everywhere he goes. If you don't let him (for example, the laundry room door must stay open for the cat litter box), he SCREAMS! Our playroom has a huge gate all the way across and I've been trying to give them a little more freedom by leaving it open (so they can learn to stay in an area without being fenced in). But Nathan will have NONE of it - if the gate is not appropriately closed he starts jumping up and down and "lightly" screaming. Kenna doesn't like it either but doesn't quite get so disturbed. I tried to force the issue by just telling him that's how it is, the door stays open, you need to learn to accept things. But after he cried forever and just stood there trying to close it indefinitely my sanity was lost and I gave in. I'll try again another time. :)
On a similar note, Nathan can't go down for a nap or go to sleep for the night if everything in the room is not appropriately placed (baby OCD? lol). I usually remember to tell them we need to clean up the stuffed animals, etc. around the room before they go to sleep. But if I forget, they both promptly run around picking up everything. The other night we said it was time for prayers and Nathan came over to sit in my lap. But he turned around, saw there was a bunny on the floor and HAD to get up and put it away. Then he came back to sit down for prayers again, noticed something in the corner, and insisted on putting it away too (even after I told him it was fine). Finally he was able to relax in my arms for prayers. :) (Bryan is just like this at night - everything around him has to be perfect for him to relax, so it's funny to see a small child doing the same thing!)
Nathan still loves his comfort objects for sleep time. That of course still includes Tortue, his stuffed turtle, but it now also includes a blanket. Each nap and night time he must get on his tummy, hold his tortue, and be covered with his blanket. (Kenna on the other hand gets very upset if ANYTHING is in her crib.)
Nathan continues to be a great eater, loving pretty much everything and always wanting more! This little guy seriously would never admit he is full. It makes it a little difficult to know what type of portions to give because he just wants to keep eating! He's only had a few hot dogs in his life but I would have to say they are his favorite. He just gobbles them down. I don't normally give them hot dogs due to nitrites and ridiculous sodium levels but we've found some that are nitrite free so now he can have them once in a while. Kenna absolutely DESPISES hot dogs though - she literally tries to throw them up!
Nathan is such an independent litle boy. He can play by himself for a very long time - not at the same activity for a long time, but without adult or other child interaction. Even when I'm in the playroom with them, he's content to just move around doing his own thing. Kenna couldn't be more different - she wants a LOT of attention. Sometimes it is hard to believe they are siblings!
Nathan is quite good at sharing, more so than Kenna at this point. If she really wants something he has and she's whining, he usually gives it to her. Other times he says "share, share" and takes her something he's decided she should have. It's very sweet! He gets very peeved though if he is offering something she won't take - and starts getting louder: "SHARE! SHARE!" Both of them will tell the other to share when they want something the other has. So this concept is starting to settle in.
Lastly, Nathan rode his first horse at the fair the other day! It was my "day off" so daddy took them to the fair with some friends. When he got home, he showed me a picture of Nathan proudly riding a horse! I was a little sad this transpired when I wasn't there but I was enjoying my day off so I got over it. lol Kenna emphatically said she did NOT want to ride one. :)
KENNA
Kenna is trying very hard to put together sentences now. She says a whole bunch of stuff that isn't understandable and then one word at the end that you catch. It sounds like this, "ahned shobi pods apple". lol I'm pretty sure she is saying "I need ..." and uses that to construct all kinds of sentences because a lot of times it makes sense in that context. But it's hard to say. I'm trying to encourage her by repeating back what a full sentence sounds like rather than just individual words as it's been up to now. I'm also trying to ask her more questions (what is the baby sleeping on?) rather than just labeling questions (what's this? - pointing to a bed) so she can go to the next step.
Kenna counts to three with me - if I say "one...what comes after one?" she will fill in two and then three. She looks very proud of herself! I think she is starting to get the concept of counting now because she will pick up two of something and say "two (whatevers)" - but then again, if I show her a picture of three or four things she still answers two. :) She also labels things as plural a lot suddenly. Shoe is now shoes, pillow is pillows, etc. So she's definitely trying to figure these things out!
One of the most precious things she does right now is want to pray. I never have to worry about forgetting prayer before a meal because she will remind me. As soon as she is in her high chair she says VERY seriously, "Prayers. Prayers. God." It's SO cute, it's unbearable...she puts her hands together and squints her eyes very tightly. She then starts the prayer, "Dear God" and I do the rest. After we say "in Jesus's name..." both she and Nathan loudly say "AMEN!" The other day she started saying in the car while we were driving, "God. Dear God." We've never prayed with them outside of bed time and meal time so I was a little surprised but then I said, "Sure, we can talk to God any time! Do you want to talk to God?" I looked in the rear view and she had huge eyes and nodded SO seriously, "Yes. Yes." So we said a prayer in the car. It brings tears to my eyes sometimes, it's so sweet!
Kenna has some concept that Alexa is a baby, that she is in my tummy, and that she is a girl. Any time she sees something in the house for a baby that is pink she says, "lexa". She points at my stomach and says baby, and points at Alexa's car seat (already in our car!) and says "lexa". I have no idea who she thinks Alexa actually is, but it's cute to see that she seems to think of her as a real person!
Kenna seems to love looking cute already. In the last month especially she insists on having a barette in her hair in the morning. I will ask her to look at me when I put it in and then I tell her, "oh, that's so cute!" and she smiles hugely and runs off. She pulled a hat out of the drawer this week and put it on, and after I told her how cute it was, she wore it for a long time after...even a month ago she wouldn't keep a hat on for 5 minutes!
Kenna loves to hug various stuffed animals, especially small ones, in the playroom. For some reason lately she has been hugging them with her eyes closed! She has a little elephant in a purse and she takes it out and gives it to me to kiss then puts it back in the purse and says "night night" (at all times of day). At night she insists on hugging her stuffed turtle but absolutely refuses to sleep with anything in the crib. If she is lying down and you give her something she says "done! done!" and is very distressed until you take it from her. So no blankets, no animals, no anything! When she is upset about something she also says "hug, hug" until I give her a hug. Nathan picked up on that and now any time there is a SLIGHT distress over something, they will both cry "HUG! HUG!" and come to me.
She is also very affectionate with her kisses at night. She kisses me over and over on each cheek and thinks it is so funny that she can't catch me on the lips. (I just think it's gross to kiss kids on the lips!) I think she sees Bryan kiss me on the lips and thinks she should do that too. :)
Here are some updates:
NATHAN
There is absolutely nothing that Nathan loves more than running and being chased. He's such a little boy that way! He is always trying to get someone to chase after him, which makes it a little tricky sometimes when you are genuinely telling him to "come here" and he laughs and runs away - not to be spiteful in those cases, just to try to entice you to play with him! Sometimes he actually runs directly into me and throws himself against me laughing. :) I love his little laugh so much! The only problem is that my big tummy right now makes it a little less pleasant!
Nathan's other favorite thing to do at the moment is open and close doors. He MUST open and close doors everywhere he goes. If you don't let him (for example, the laundry room door must stay open for the cat litter box), he SCREAMS! Our playroom has a huge gate all the way across and I've been trying to give them a little more freedom by leaving it open (so they can learn to stay in an area without being fenced in). But Nathan will have NONE of it - if the gate is not appropriately closed he starts jumping up and down and "lightly" screaming. Kenna doesn't like it either but doesn't quite get so disturbed. I tried to force the issue by just telling him that's how it is, the door stays open, you need to learn to accept things. But after he cried forever and just stood there trying to close it indefinitely my sanity was lost and I gave in. I'll try again another time. :)
On a similar note, Nathan can't go down for a nap or go to sleep for the night if everything in the room is not appropriately placed (baby OCD? lol). I usually remember to tell them we need to clean up the stuffed animals, etc. around the room before they go to sleep. But if I forget, they both promptly run around picking up everything. The other night we said it was time for prayers and Nathan came over to sit in my lap. But he turned around, saw there was a bunny on the floor and HAD to get up and put it away. Then he came back to sit down for prayers again, noticed something in the corner, and insisted on putting it away too (even after I told him it was fine). Finally he was able to relax in my arms for prayers. :) (Bryan is just like this at night - everything around him has to be perfect for him to relax, so it's funny to see a small child doing the same thing!)
Nathan still loves his comfort objects for sleep time. That of course still includes Tortue, his stuffed turtle, but it now also includes a blanket. Each nap and night time he must get on his tummy, hold his tortue, and be covered with his blanket. (Kenna on the other hand gets very upset if ANYTHING is in her crib.)
Nathan continues to be a great eater, loving pretty much everything and always wanting more! This little guy seriously would never admit he is full. It makes it a little difficult to know what type of portions to give because he just wants to keep eating! He's only had a few hot dogs in his life but I would have to say they are his favorite. He just gobbles them down. I don't normally give them hot dogs due to nitrites and ridiculous sodium levels but we've found some that are nitrite free so now he can have them once in a while. Kenna absolutely DESPISES hot dogs though - she literally tries to throw them up!
Nathan is such an independent litle boy. He can play by himself for a very long time - not at the same activity for a long time, but without adult or other child interaction. Even when I'm in the playroom with them, he's content to just move around doing his own thing. Kenna couldn't be more different - she wants a LOT of attention. Sometimes it is hard to believe they are siblings!
Nathan is quite good at sharing, more so than Kenna at this point. If she really wants something he has and she's whining, he usually gives it to her. Other times he says "share, share" and takes her something he's decided she should have. It's very sweet! He gets very peeved though if he is offering something she won't take - and starts getting louder: "SHARE! SHARE!" Both of them will tell the other to share when they want something the other has. So this concept is starting to settle in.
Lastly, Nathan rode his first horse at the fair the other day! It was my "day off" so daddy took them to the fair with some friends. When he got home, he showed me a picture of Nathan proudly riding a horse! I was a little sad this transpired when I wasn't there but I was enjoying my day off so I got over it. lol Kenna emphatically said she did NOT want to ride one. :)
KENNA
Kenna is trying very hard to put together sentences now. She says a whole bunch of stuff that isn't understandable and then one word at the end that you catch. It sounds like this, "ahned shobi pods apple". lol I'm pretty sure she is saying "I need ..." and uses that to construct all kinds of sentences because a lot of times it makes sense in that context. But it's hard to say. I'm trying to encourage her by repeating back what a full sentence sounds like rather than just individual words as it's been up to now. I'm also trying to ask her more questions (what is the baby sleeping on?) rather than just labeling questions (what's this? - pointing to a bed) so she can go to the next step.
Kenna counts to three with me - if I say "one...what comes after one?" she will fill in two and then three. She looks very proud of herself! I think she is starting to get the concept of counting now because she will pick up two of something and say "two (whatevers)" - but then again, if I show her a picture of three or four things she still answers two. :) She also labels things as plural a lot suddenly. Shoe is now shoes, pillow is pillows, etc. So she's definitely trying to figure these things out!
One of the most precious things she does right now is want to pray. I never have to worry about forgetting prayer before a meal because she will remind me. As soon as she is in her high chair she says VERY seriously, "Prayers. Prayers. God." It's SO cute, it's unbearable...she puts her hands together and squints her eyes very tightly. She then starts the prayer, "Dear God" and I do the rest. After we say "in Jesus's name..." both she and Nathan loudly say "AMEN!" The other day she started saying in the car while we were driving, "God. Dear God." We've never prayed with them outside of bed time and meal time so I was a little surprised but then I said, "Sure, we can talk to God any time! Do you want to talk to God?" I looked in the rear view and she had huge eyes and nodded SO seriously, "Yes. Yes." So we said a prayer in the car. It brings tears to my eyes sometimes, it's so sweet!
Kenna has some concept that Alexa is a baby, that she is in my tummy, and that she is a girl. Any time she sees something in the house for a baby that is pink she says, "lexa". She points at my stomach and says baby, and points at Alexa's car seat (already in our car!) and says "lexa". I have no idea who she thinks Alexa actually is, but it's cute to see that she seems to think of her as a real person!
Kenna seems to love looking cute already. In the last month especially she insists on having a barette in her hair in the morning. I will ask her to look at me when I put it in and then I tell her, "oh, that's so cute!" and she smiles hugely and runs off. She pulled a hat out of the drawer this week and put it on, and after I told her how cute it was, she wore it for a long time after...even a month ago she wouldn't keep a hat on for 5 minutes!
Kenna loves to hug various stuffed animals, especially small ones, in the playroom. For some reason lately she has been hugging them with her eyes closed! She has a little elephant in a purse and she takes it out and gives it to me to kiss then puts it back in the purse and says "night night" (at all times of day). At night she insists on hugging her stuffed turtle but absolutely refuses to sleep with anything in the crib. If she is lying down and you give her something she says "done! done!" and is very distressed until you take it from her. So no blankets, no animals, no anything! When she is upset about something she also says "hug, hug" until I give her a hug. Nathan picked up on that and now any time there is a SLIGHT distress over something, they will both cry "HUG! HUG!" and come to me.
She is also very affectionate with her kisses at night. She kisses me over and over on each cheek and thinks it is so funny that she can't catch me on the lips. (I just think it's gross to kiss kids on the lips!) I think she sees Bryan kiss me on the lips and thinks she should do that too. :)
Thursday, August 5, 2010
C-Section Scheduled
I had my 34 week appointment yesterday and told the doctor I was sure the baby wasn't head down and I thought she was transverse. She normally doesn't check until 37 weeks but she said if the baby really wasn't head down right now that does mean there is a high likelihood she won't turn (but always possible). So she felt around to see and couldn't tell. She then took me in for a quick ultrasound and found that Alexa is completely breech. And just like that we left the room and scheduled a c-section at 39 weeks.
Alexa is scheduled to arrive on September 7 (9:30 surgery time).
If I go into labor before then they will check position and if she is still breech then I'll have an unscheduled c-section at that time. Otherwise they will check the morning of the c-section and if she has gone head down then I will be sent away waiting for labor. Otherwise I show up, confirm breech, and have a c-section.
I'm OK with the c-section. I like having a date and I doubt seriously that I will go into labor earlier than that. So far my pregnancy has been just like my mom's and she had to be induced after her due date (not that that's 100% accurate of course). I know it would be better if I didn't have to have a c-section (it's still major surgery) but there's nothing I can do about it and I never felt strongly about needing to experience a vaginal birth as I know some people do. Honestly I worry way more about Bryan because he is freaking out about how he will manage helping me with the kids so much for a couple of weeks after going back to work. (He's taking 2 weeks off but recovery is 4-6 weeeks.) This is one time in my life where I haven't even attempted to plan how exactly this will work because there are too many variables. Who knows how I'll feel, how quickly I'll heal, etc.? Who knows what it will be like to have a newborn plus toddler twins? We're just going to have to survive those first few weeks.
But I have another point of total stress now. After researching causes of breech babies I've learned that 6-7 percent (!!!!) of breech babies have a major birth defect reason for being breech, compared to 1-2 percent of head down babies. That's 3 to 6 times the risk?! I'm terrified something is wrong with her now. I have been searching the internet incessantly for more information on this since yesterday. Last night I dreamed that she was born and the doctor was telling me they "just needed to fix her spine a little, drain the water from her head and fix her muscle tone" (all issues I saw can come up with breech babies in higher proportion). :( It was horrible. I woke up and wanted to burst into tears.
I can't wait for this to be over. Have I mentioned that? :)
Alexa is scheduled to arrive on September 7 (9:30 surgery time).
If I go into labor before then they will check position and if she is still breech then I'll have an unscheduled c-section at that time. Otherwise they will check the morning of the c-section and if she has gone head down then I will be sent away waiting for labor. Otherwise I show up, confirm breech, and have a c-section.
I'm OK with the c-section. I like having a date and I doubt seriously that I will go into labor earlier than that. So far my pregnancy has been just like my mom's and she had to be induced after her due date (not that that's 100% accurate of course). I know it would be better if I didn't have to have a c-section (it's still major surgery) but there's nothing I can do about it and I never felt strongly about needing to experience a vaginal birth as I know some people do. Honestly I worry way more about Bryan because he is freaking out about how he will manage helping me with the kids so much for a couple of weeks after going back to work. (He's taking 2 weeks off but recovery is 4-6 weeeks.) This is one time in my life where I haven't even attempted to plan how exactly this will work because there are too many variables. Who knows how I'll feel, how quickly I'll heal, etc.? Who knows what it will be like to have a newborn plus toddler twins? We're just going to have to survive those first few weeks.
But I have another point of total stress now. After researching causes of breech babies I've learned that 6-7 percent (!!!!) of breech babies have a major birth defect reason for being breech, compared to 1-2 percent of head down babies. That's 3 to 6 times the risk?! I'm terrified something is wrong with her now. I have been searching the internet incessantly for more information on this since yesterday. Last night I dreamed that she was born and the doctor was telling me they "just needed to fix her spine a little, drain the water from her head and fix her muscle tone" (all issues I saw can come up with breech babies in higher proportion). :( It was horrible. I woke up and wanted to burst into tears.
I can't wait for this to be over. Have I mentioned that? :)
Sunday, August 1, 2010
The Countdown Begins
I'm 34 weeks today! Theoretically that means I have just 6 weeks left (maybe less??). Wow. I can't even believe that. I still have to pack the hospital bag and find the bassinet part to our pack n play (so Alexa can sleep in our room for a couple of weeks) but other than that we are READY. And I mean I am READY...I am officially ready to be done being pregnant!
For a while I felt guilty for wanting to not be pregnant anymore because I didn't feel I had really "embraced" this unique time. But I feel now that I've fully experienced it. This is really random, but one thing I felt bad about the whole pregnancy was that I didn't commit to weekly or even monthly belly shots! I've taken a few pictures throughout the pregnancy so I did have some, but I really regretted that I could never go back and capture something that in all likelihood will never happen again. I'm ridiculously sentimental so it was something that really bothered me. Well, we decided last minute to do "professional" maternity pictures at JC Penney yesterday and I now feel 100% better. :) They came out so great, I am thrilled with them! I feel like I now have some cute pictures while "fully" pregnant so the absence of the earlier ones is OK. Now I have no more pregnancy regrets, and the discomforts of the third trimester have led me to feel 100% OK with this now being over!
I think Alexa went head down for just a couple of days because I felt hiccups very low. But as of yesterday I definitely felt the hiccups back high again...so it looks like we are back to transverse. The doctor said that around 34/35 weeks is when they start to worry if the baby isn't persistently head down, so this is not a good sign. Despite the fact that I initially really wanted a c-section, I don't feel that way now. It wouldn't be the end of the world but I really want to try the old fashioned way (well, in terms of exit method, not in terms of no medication! GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL ASAP!!). Last night I dreamed they were coming to take me for a c section and I was begging to wait for her to go head down. lol
My hormones have been in full swing. When we went for the maternity tour I totally freaked out. I HATE hospitals. I associate it with seeing my dear grandmother the last time. Some mixture of that emotion plus the realization that I was going to have to go through child birth there made me burst into tears within 5 minutes of the tour starting. Fortunately we were in the back of the group so I my outpouring didn't gather too much notice. Sigh.
Despite 8 months of preparation so far, I really can't even picture having a baby in the house. It doesn't sound real - I feel like that stage was already so long ago and we have made so much "progress" since then! And I really can't imagine that there is a baby inside me who is already so big that if she were born today she would likely be fine. I feel big, but not THAT big!
All in all, it will be such a relief for pregnancy to be over. I CAN NOT WAIT to get on with life, not having to obsess about birth, not having trouble breathing, not having trouble sleeping every night, not being so tired, not being able to eat/drink whatever I want, and getting to get my body back to where it was! I know it's only for a little more, but six weeks does sound like an eternity at this point. :)
For a while I felt guilty for wanting to not be pregnant anymore because I didn't feel I had really "embraced" this unique time. But I feel now that I've fully experienced it. This is really random, but one thing I felt bad about the whole pregnancy was that I didn't commit to weekly or even monthly belly shots! I've taken a few pictures throughout the pregnancy so I did have some, but I really regretted that I could never go back and capture something that in all likelihood will never happen again. I'm ridiculously sentimental so it was something that really bothered me. Well, we decided last minute to do "professional" maternity pictures at JC Penney yesterday and I now feel 100% better. :) They came out so great, I am thrilled with them! I feel like I now have some cute pictures while "fully" pregnant so the absence of the earlier ones is OK. Now I have no more pregnancy regrets, and the discomforts of the third trimester have led me to feel 100% OK with this now being over!
I think Alexa went head down for just a couple of days because I felt hiccups very low. But as of yesterday I definitely felt the hiccups back high again...so it looks like we are back to transverse. The doctor said that around 34/35 weeks is when they start to worry if the baby isn't persistently head down, so this is not a good sign. Despite the fact that I initially really wanted a c-section, I don't feel that way now. It wouldn't be the end of the world but I really want to try the old fashioned way (well, in terms of exit method, not in terms of no medication! GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL ASAP!!). Last night I dreamed they were coming to take me for a c section and I was begging to wait for her to go head down. lol
My hormones have been in full swing. When we went for the maternity tour I totally freaked out. I HATE hospitals. I associate it with seeing my dear grandmother the last time. Some mixture of that emotion plus the realization that I was going to have to go through child birth there made me burst into tears within 5 minutes of the tour starting. Fortunately we were in the back of the group so I my outpouring didn't gather too much notice. Sigh.
Despite 8 months of preparation so far, I really can't even picture having a baby in the house. It doesn't sound real - I feel like that stage was already so long ago and we have made so much "progress" since then! And I really can't imagine that there is a baby inside me who is already so big that if she were born today she would likely be fine. I feel big, but not THAT big!
All in all, it will be such a relief for pregnancy to be over. I CAN NOT WAIT to get on with life, not having to obsess about birth, not having trouble breathing, not having trouble sleeping every night, not being so tired, not being able to eat/drink whatever I want, and getting to get my body back to where it was! I know it's only for a little more, but six weeks does sound like an eternity at this point. :)
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