By the end of the day, I just feel worn out. I put the kids to bed, close the door, and breathe a giant sigh that I made it through the day. But I realized today that generally speaking, things go pretty well until the last couple of hours. Then it's downhill. They are tired, I am tired. I've lost patience. They've lost patience. By the time I put them to bed, I feel almost a little sad that we didn't all "part" on the happy terms that we usually have the rest of the day. Generally, small battles have been waged for the last couple of hours. Yes, the last half an hour of getting into jammies and snuggling is a nice positive end to the day, but it doesn't totally make up for the crankiness (theirs and mine) that precedes it. I guess there is not much I can do about it, given that we are all tired at the end of the day, but I just feel frustrated that each day starts so great and then just progresses to meltdown between 5-6:30.
Then, there is the BIG battle some nights. Kenna eating vegetables. SIGH. DOUBLE SIGH. TRIPLE SIGH!!! Granted, she eats more vegetables than most kids her age are probably willing to - peas, spinach, corn, potatoes, sometimes carrots, sometimes zuchini. But there are nights when she just refuses the vegetables. Like tonight. I gave her a mix of carrots, broccoli, cauliflower and zuchini. She picked at it, ate a couple of pieces and refused anything else. I am adamant that my kids will eat what is put in front of them. Mommy knows what they need to be healthy, mommy will give them what they need, and they will be grateful that they have food on the table. That's it. End of story. Now of course they can't get the gratitude part yet. Or understand what healthy means. Right now, they just need to learn that they must eat what I give them or they will go hungry. When they are older, they simply won't be allowed to move from the table unless they have eaten every piece of food I have given them. But, I can't do that yet or Kenna would never go to bed. :) (Of course if there is something they find revolting, I respect that! But they can't categorically tell me that vegetables are revolting!)
I ran into a lady at the grocery store this afternoon in the baby food aisle. She had a 13 month old and was asking if I had any advice on getting a baby to eat solid food. She was still giving him a diet of almost all milk with just a couple of fruits because he would cry when she tried to give him anything else! She said her doctor told her to just make him go hungry until he starts eating consistently what she gives him (good advice!), and she said she could never do that because it's mean. I really don't understand when parents are afraid to be "mean" (in their perception) and won't do what is best for their child because of it. I will always do what I feel is best for my kids, even if they kick and scream about it sometimes. To me, it's "mean" to let an infant "decide" on important things like their selection of diet when they don't have adequate knowledge to make those decisions. My job is to be stronger than the frustration that comes from the crying. It sure is more tiring than the avoidance of "appearing mean". But for me, it sure is worth it. Even on nights when I'm so flustered that I decide to write a blog post about it. :)
Off to a good book, a soft couch, a cuddly blanket, and a glass of wine!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
We have a similar end of the day here. I know how I feel just having one perfect little babe so I can only imagine what it would be like with two.
ReplyDeleteJust to give you a different perspective....some children have major sensory issues when it comes to food. Your conversation with the lady in the grocery reminded me of this. Some children will just refuse to eat cause it just doesn't feel good - and it's a physiological things as opposed to a character trait of stubborness. And as a result, theywill have speech delays because the little muscles in their tongue don't get exercised. Some grow out of it, some just remain entirely picky eaters. So I do believe that sometimes it's not always cut and dry.
I hear that it's pretty common for toddlers to have a picky stage at a year - so hang in there cause you are doing great.
The end of the days are rough here too. Just wait until they start melting down, AND throwing themselves on the ground, AND not sitting in their chairs. It only gets better! ;))
ReplyDeleteSarah - That's interesting, I've never heard of that! Thanks for mentioning it. Fortunately Kenna doesn't have a total food aversion like that. She is a great eater with a lot of things. But if she doesn't like something she is extremely stubborn! I guess she is just like me. ;)
ReplyDeleteChristina - Was that supposed to make me feel better? LOL
Keep your eye on the prize! That's what I always tell myself. Right now we are in the training period, but someday I'll get to sit down with my healthy, happy, well-adjusted adult children and have a cup of coffee and chat like good friends (God willing!). Parenting isn't always cut and dry, so just constantly re-evaluate your decisions and then do what you feel is right.
ReplyDeleteOn a more practical note, both of mine went through picky stages (and like yours weren't THAT picky) and my solution was to offer a very small amount of what they didn't like at the beginning of the meal and they had to eat that before moving on to the next thing. After a while, they either grew to tolerate or like the food, or grew out of their pickiness, not sure which. I don't make them eat everything on their plates because mine have issues with knowing when to stop when they are full, and often end up with tummy aches. But, if I serve them something I know they don't care for much, I serve it first, so that they can't beg off and say that they are full by the time they get to the foods that they don't like.
I remember those days...food battles are always the worst because they don't 'get it' and well we can't really 'force it'.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I learned is that with kids, a lot of food battles are about control. It's really the only thing kids can control, because you can't really force kids to eat. This starts at a very early age and often doesn't end till their teens.
Keep an eye out for that, little things I wish I knew with my firstborn. :)
DH and I give each other a high five after we put them to bed. :) And the not eating veggies thing is sooo hard for me. I do not want picky eaters. But, I also don't want to make food a battle--and forcing kids to eat things won't help me out either. So I offer all healthy foods. Yes they are asking for crackers but they won't get crackers. And they eat when they're hungry but I'm not a short order cook--what is offered is the only option.
ReplyDeleteIt is only going to get harder as they have more willpower. As my kids approach 2, refusing to eat things becomes a control issue. Ugh.
-Gabby